| THE EARLY YEARSFortunately for all Americans the | | | | trying to shirk this "seek but do not find" rigid pattern. |
| 1960's, 70's and then 80's led first to greater sexual | | | | Unlike many happy bisexuals - gays and even many |
| freedom and liberation - and then to greater sexual | | | | Lesbians - are still under this spell - notwithstanding that |
| honesty. The internet boom of the last decade | | | | even the major gay mecca cities San Francisco and |
| solidified those gains to the extent that there can likely | | | | New York closed the gay baths - gay bars are half in |
| never really be a return to the sexual | | | | number or half full today -yet the adult bookstores - |
| "dark ages".THE GAYS & THE "THREE B's"Gays | | | | and videos - and pornographers are richer than ever - |
| and Lesbians had historically lived prior to the Stonewall | | | | harvesting a new crop of young twinks and studs for |
| Riots lives of quiet desperation "in the closet" facing | | | | their 15 minutes of fame every season of every year |
| overt hostility and repression every day of their | | | | until the end of time. The internet has been a major |
| lives.After the STONEWALL RIOTS - our gay and | | | | boon to pornography and pornography sales |
| lesbian brothers and sisters overall marched straight | | | | worldwide especially in the gay "beefcake" |
| out of their closets and eventually right down MAIN | | | | market.THE THREE B'S REPLACED BY MAJOR |
| STREET or FIFTH AVENUE or MARKET STREET | | | | MERCHANTS OF GREEDThings - largely due to |
| or SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD in their festive | | | | AIDS as well as long-term maturing gay and lesbian |
| PRIDE PARADES across North America and now | | | | community - have changed and are changing - but the |
| across the world. Many gays and to a lesser extent | | | | change from the "3 B's" holding the community in its |
| Lesbians want to be open about their sexual | | | | thrall has morphed into gross and crass materialism as |
| orientation - while this is NOT the case with most | | | | soon as the major marketing gurus found the Gay and |
| bisexuals - especially happy bisexuals.Soon across | | | | Lesbian NICHE of affluent consumers with huge |
| America there were dozens of openly gay bars, adult | | | | discretionary spending who were eager to "Seek and |
| bookstores, and bathhouses in every major North | | | | Find" and then "Seek and Find" again - consumer |
| American city. Gay Community Centers sprouted in | | | | goods and luxury travel and the like.NOW the vast |
| most every major North American city - save San | | | | majority of the FORTUNE 500 companies market to |
| Francisco - where until recently the community was so | | | | the Gay and Lesbian Community noting in their |
| fractious they could not even open such a center! Gay | | | | marketing circles that the Gay and Lesbian market is |
| Community Centers with time became Gay and | | | | one of the larger and more affluent segments of |
| Lesbian Centers - then GLBT Centers and soon to be | | | | today's marketplace. Gays and Lesbians who were |
| GLBT and P - polyamory - and Q centers - | | | | already as average American consumers easy prey |
| Queer.Maybe one fine day even the new, trendy | | | | for materialism and |
| METROSEXUALS will join the sexual minorities to | | | | consumerism were even more easily influenced when |
| party and to parade!The GAY PARADIGM - which | | | | buying this and that product led to acceptance by this |
| emerged as a result of this desire for being OPEN - | | | | or that major corporate icon, this or that major world |
| was often confrontational to the larger straight | | | | conglomerate - tied with greater status and greater |
| community with a certain "WE'RE QUEER and WE'RE | | | | rank in one's millieu.HERE COME THE |
| HERE!" element in far too many areas of America. In | | | | ALTERNATIVES:Finally, after this gay party and Pride |
| the gay era before AIDS the fact of life was that the | | | | parade - then gay + Lesbian party and parade - was |
| gay community was hijacked by the THREE B'S who | | | | far along - here come some welcome alternatives. |
| made a killing - and also ultimately killed off thousands if | | | | The Metropolitian Community Church has been with us |
| not millions of gays. They are the BARS, the BATHS, | | | | for decades and has sought to help fill the spiritual |
| and the BOOKSTORES. Their agenda was to make | | | | hunger of many gays and lesbians who want to find |
| FILTHY LUCRE and they did so rapaciously for years | | | | that solace and inner peace in a gay and Lesbian |
| and years. Gay communities in these early years - | | | | religious setting.Many mainstream Christian churches |
| including their activists and journalists became | | | | have embraced the gay and lesbian community in |
| dependent on these deep pockets but they too were | | | | many outreach programs as the Churchof Christ and |
| all too often caught in the thrall of the 3 B's AGENDA - | | | | the Unitarian/Universalists and the gay and lesbian |
| even hidden agenda of SEEK BUT DO NOT | | | | support groups and organizations within their home |
| FIND.Even today the "beau ideal" of the American gay | | | | churches as Dignity, Integritry, and the Brethern and the |
| community is some twenty-something twink or hunk or | | | | like. Islam offered up "Gay Muslim" groups and there |
| military type - portrayed again and again for decades | | | | are many GLBT groups for Jews, Buddhists, and other |
| endlessly and all but mindlessly. This beau ideal type | | | | faiths.Many gay and lesbians have also explored |
| can never be snared and brought home to one's bed - | | | | alternatives to organized religions with New Age |
| save at a hefty price (escorts and models or trade) - | | | | thinking, yoga, Scientology |
| much less to one's life and family! Billions have been | | | | and other stops on that long travelled road the |
| and will continue to be made on the backs and knees | | | | American pursuit of happiness trail.Microcosm vs. |
| of these 18 to 25 year olds who are then cast off for | | | | Macrocosm:Maybe gays and lesbians just finally |
| next year's "model". Nothing is sadder than meeting a | | | | caught up with the mainstream of American life - |
| middle-aged towel boy at a gay bath or spa or a | | | | gross, crass materialism being catered to and cajoled |
| broken down bartender at some gay bar who openly | | | | into more and more consumer spending and more and |
| laments that he was once "somebody" in the gay | | | | more consumer debt to "Seek and Find" and then |
| limelight years ago.The NOT so secret moneymaking | | | | continually in yet more and more rounds of |
| agenda of the POWERS THAT BE in the gay | | | | self-indulgence and over-indulgence to "Seek and Find" |
| community - the 3 B's and their legion of co- | | | | again and again. Sadly there is no "silver bullet" for the |
| conspirators was "SEEK BUT DO NOT FIND". Gay | | | | Gay and Lesbian community nor American society as |
| men HAD to go out as often as possible to the bars, | | | | a whole. When and where will we all find something |
| the baths or the bookstores - as they might be missing | | | | more valuable, reliable and relevant - than buy, buy, buy |
| out on something or someone. Even if they found | | | | and more, more, more? When?Best Wishes & Big |
| someone it was and is all too often a one-night stand if | | | | Hugs, |
| not a 15 minute standup. One gay friend recently | | | | Stewart ("Mac") McCloud |
| admitted to me he had not had horizontal gay sex | | | | Founder & President |
| since the AIDS epidemic was full-blown (i.e. two | | | | The Bi MEN NETWORK |
| decades). While many gay men do find long-term | | | | |
| committed relationships - as the new Gay Episcopal | | | | 250,000+ Men with us!Stewart (Mac) McCloud is the |
| Bishop of New Hampshire - far too many will regale | | | | Founder and President of the Bi Men Network - - the |
| you with Elizabeth Taylor-esque tales of their 13 | | | | world's largest social and support organization for |
| husbands and numerous affairs - few lasting more | | | | bisexual men, bi-curious males, gay guys, and bi |
| than a season or two. BUT - the 3 B's want gays "to | | | | couples - now with over 1/4 million members. With |
| seek but do not find" - to be good consumers - good | | | | members on all six continents - the Bi Men Network |
| customers! I attended University of California's Hastings | | | | brings together both bi and bi-curious men and bi |
| College of the Law in San Francisco in the early 70's | | | | couples on one side and gay men on the other. Many |
| and one openly notorious homosexual law student | | | | of the gay men who join the Bi Men Network were |
| openly proclaimed that his small gay bar and its 11 | | | | once bi themselves, or enjoy bi men or are gay men |
| long-term regular patrons who cashed their every | | | | who are often alienated from and disaffected by the |
| paycheck there paid his way through law school. He | | | | gay mainstream and gay lifestyle. Annual Bi Men |
| admitted that over two dozen such "regulars" were | | | | Getaway Weekend held each Spring in Las Vegas. Bi |
| openly feted at all major holidays and their every | | | | Men Network offers support and resources for its |
| birthday to keep them as "regulars".Even to this day - | | | | worldwide membership and a means to make new |
| the GAY PARADIGM - the GAY COMMUNITY is still | | | | friends both online and offline. Free! |