Why Don't I Look Good In Pictures?

people don't – and for very real reasons...as a square, has absolutely NO depth (thickness) at all.
I've been taking professional photographs for aboutThis means that it is completely invisible when looked
thirty years. Ever since I started, I've heard a constantat from the side view. But what's this all got to do with
comment. It is always said something like "I just don'twhy you don't look good in photographs? Simple:
take good pictures" or "the camera just doesn't likepeople are three dimensional, and photographs are
me." Almost invariably, when this statement is uttered,only two dimensional.
everyone within earshot gives a chuckle, orAnytime that you lose a dimension, your view is
immediately starts assuring the speaker that theypenalized, per se. If I take a head-on photograph of a
really do look good. Sometimes it's true, but often it'scube, it appears as a square. I can do some 'tricks' to
not. Some people do not photograph well – it'sfool the viewer, such as make sure there is a shadow
that simple.showing that the square is actually a cube, or taking
To the best of my knowledge, nobody has ever beenthe photo at an angle which shows at least one other
able to compose a list of physical features that causeside of the cube. But no matter what I do, the picture
someone to photograph well, or photograph poorly.will always be a two dimensional view of a three
Game show guru Monty Hall believed that the secretdimensional object. Needless to say, there is a
was in the size of the head. He insisted that all of thesubstantial difference between a square and a cube.
hosts of his shows had large heads. Obviously, thisAnd there is a substantial difference between seeing
worked for him – his unmatched successsomeone and seeing a picture of that same someone.
attests to that.In people, all sorts of things affect how we perceive
Hollywood stars and starlets are very persnicketythem. Many of these things are only present because
about how they are photographed. There are extremeof the third dimension. The distance between the ears
cases, such as actor Alan Ladd. Mr. Ladd was quiteand the tip of the nose, the depth of the eye sockets,
short, and insisted that trenches be dug throughout thethe distance the nose and chin protrude from the face,
sets to make him always appear taller. When a trenchand so on. None of these elements of a person's
wouldn't do, he had stools. Barbra Streisand goes toappearance are necessarily discernable in a
great lengths to ensure that only one of her profiles isphotograph, and yet they are easily seen in person.
photographed. Note that she will always have herSome people are attractive because of the 3-D
escort on her right arm – to causeelements. Others do not depend on 3-D elements so
photographers to shoot her from the left side –much for their attractive appearance. And some
her best side, according to the singing actress.people have such a string feature that is visible in 2-D,
If you've looked at enough photographs, and seenthat any loss of 3-D is not very noticeable. Paul
enough TV and movies, you've been struck by one orNewman, for example, was quite famous for his
two anomalies. Someone who is frightfully unattractivestriking blue eyes. Blue is not dependant on dimension.
looks great in a photograph, or, someone who isTry to find a professional photograph of comedian
stunningly attractive looks horrible. What causes this? Isactor Jimmy Durante that did not emphasize his
the photographer lacking skill? Bad lighting, perhaps?notoriously prominent proboscis. In a frontal view, he
Did the subject have a bad day? Of course thesewas just a mediocre looking fellow, but when his face
things could be true, but there's actually a very real,was photographed to accentuate his large nose, he
constant explanation for this phenomenon: dimensions.became quite unique.
We humans live in a world of three dimensions: frontIf you or someone you know doesn't photograph well,
back • left/right • up/down. Since wetake heart. You might try getting a digital camera and
have stereo vision, we can see all three of theseshooting picture after picture – each one
dimensions. Using geometry, we can see how theshowing just a modest shift of the angle of the head.
dimensions are arrived at. A straight line is oneDon't just change the angle side-to-side, but up and
dimension: front back. To create the second dimension,down as well. Looking slightly upward changes
make a line at a right angle to the first line, and do soeverything, as does looking slightly to one side. Do this
until you have a square. This is two dimensional. Now,in full, but not direct light – such as under your
make squares at right angles to the first square untilporch, or on a cloudy day. Don’t use the flash! If
you have a cube – that's three dimensional.this doesn't achieve the desired result, try the same
Voila!thing, but have a prominent light source. You can do
We suspicion that there are more dimensions. Usingthis by pointing a light directly towards yourself, or by
the first three dimensions as the guide, if you took asitting in a darkened room, with only one light source in
cube and made cubes at right angles to it, ultimatelythe room.
you'd have a 4-D cube – sometimes called aThe techniques above will help to exaggerate the
hypercube, or "tesseract." The problem is, we can'tillusion of 3-D in the 2-D medium of the photograph. Do
even imagine a tesseract, much less make one. It's allthis enough, in enough positions and with enough lighting
theoretical. Some things in geometry are hard to grasp,changes, and you just might be able to get back those
but a tesseract is impossible to grasp.good looks the camera's 2-D limitation has stolen from
One of the problems we have in understandingyou. Good luck!
geometry is simply this: a two dimensional object, such