| The fear of rejection is a huge issue in relationships. | | | | controlling rather than loving. We all need to accept |
| For some, the fear is so huge that it stops them from | | | | that if we choose to be our wounded self most of the |
| being in a relationship. For others, it plagues them | | | | time in a relationship, there is a good possibility that we |
| throughout their relationships and causes much anxiety. | | | | will be rejected. |
| Rejection is a part of life, and learning to lovingly | | | | However, if you have been your core Self for much |
| manage it is very important to our wellbeing. | | | | of the relationship, then it is very important to not take |
| To help you learn to move beyond the fear of | | | | rejection personally, as it is not about you at all - it is |
| rejection, I would like to help you see who a person is | | | | about the other person's fear of intimacy. |
| rejecting when they reject you. Are they rejecting | | | | In most relationships, two people get together at their |
| your wounded self or your core Self? | | | | common level of woundedness - i.e., they are equally in |
| Your wounded self is the self you created when you | | | | their wounded self, equally self-abandoning. If, at some |
| were growing up to protect yourself from pain. This is | | | | point in the relationship, you open to learning and |
| the ego - the part of us filled with fear and false | | | | healing, and learn to take responsibility for yourself and |
| beliefs, and many ways of trying to get love and avoid | | | | be more in your core Self, your partner might be |
| pain. This is the part of us that gives ourselves up, or | | | | threatened by this. It is very important that if your |
| gets angry, blaming, or critical, or turns to various | | | | partner rejects you for your growth, you not take this |
| addictions, or is resistant, or is numbed out or | | | | personally. This is not about anything being wrong with |
| withdrawn. | | | | you - it is about your partner not wanting to learn and |
| The wounded self in all of us is not lovable. No one | | | | grow. |
| falls in love with our wounded self. No one even really | | | | On the other hand, if your partner is the one learning |
| likes our wounded self. | | | | and growing, and you choose not to learn and grow, |
| Your core Self is who you really are - who GOD | | | | and your partner leaves the relationship, it is not |
| created rather than who YOU created. This is your | | | | because there is anything inherently wrong with you. |
| true Self, your essence. This is the part of all of us that | | | | There is never anything wrong with the core Self. But |
| is inherently lovable and loving. This is who someone | | | | if you choose to stay stuck in your wounded self and |
| falls in love with. | | | | your partner leaves, it is because he or she is rejecting |
| When you have been rejected, which part of you is | | | | your wounded self, not your core Self, and your |
| being rejected? | | | | wounded self is NOT who you really are. |
| If you have been your wounded self a lot in a | | | | Next time you are rejected, look inside and see who is |
| relationship - people-pleasing by giving yourself up, | | | | being rejected - your wounded self or your core Self? |
| getting angry, judgmental and blaming, withdrawing, | | | | If someone reject you for your wounded self, then |
| turning to various addictions, and/or being highly | | | | take it as an opportunity to learn and heal. If someone |
| resistant, then it is very likely that you are being | | | | rejects you for your core Self, then good riddance! |
| rejected for your wounded self. You are not being | | | | This person would never have supported you in being |
| rejected for who you really are, but for choosing to be | | | | all that you are. |