| Being alone for the holidays is a major challenge for | | | | toward taking away your loneliness! |
| many people. Holidays often conjure images of family, | | | | - Volunteer to help with serving food to the needy |
| of warmth and the sharing of special time. Loneliness | | | | over Thanksgiving and Christmas. Many churches and |
| can be overwhelming when you have no one with | | | | other charitable organizations welcome volunteers to |
| whom to share holiday time. | | | | help in food lines over the holidays. |
| Many people, however, miss the point of what holidays | | | | - Locate a retreat center near you that has a special |
| are really about and what makes them special. | | | | event over the holidays and share your time with other |
| Holidays are not about what you GET - they are | | | | people who are also alone for the holidays. Last year |
| about what you GIVE. Many people are under the | | | | a friend of mine, who had just left her husband and |
| misconception that the joy of holidays is about what | | | | was alone for the first time with no family around her, |
| you receive rather than about what you share. Our | | | | went to a beautiful retreat center on the East Coast. |
| hearts get filled with love when we give and share | | | | Twenty people gathered there to share Thanksgiving |
| love, rather than from getting love. | | | | together. There was a wonderful ceremony of |
| This may seem like a paradox. Many people spend | | | | gratitude that she said filled her heart, and she enjoyed |
| their time with others attempting to get love, attention | | | | sharing time with new people. |
| and approval, thinking that this is what makes them | | | | - Find a church, temple or 12-step group in your area |
| feel happy and worthy. But getting attention from | | | | that has special events for singles over the holidays. |
| others to fill ourselves is like eating chocolate when | | | | Go to these events with the intention of sharing your |
| you are lonely - it works for the moment but then you | | | | caring with others, which you can do just by being |
| need more and more of it. Eventually it becomes an | | | | interested in listening to another person. We all love |
| addiction. | | | | being listened to and understood, and all of us have the |
| What really fills the emptiness is the giving of love. If | | | | capacity to give this to another. |
| you are alone over the holidays, the question becomes, | | | | One of my all-time favorite movies is "A Christmas |
| "How can I give love in ways that will bring me joy?" | | | | Carol," - the one starring Alistair Sim. I just love the |
| Below are some suggestions for sharing your love and | | | | scene on Christmas morning when Scrooge realizes |
| caring over the holidays: | | | | that no time has passed and he has the opportunity to |
| - Gather toys from friends and store donations and | | | | give. He feels such joy at the prospect of giving, that |
| bring them to children who would not otherwise have | | | | he can hardly stand it! He dances around and stands |
| toys. You can find these children through schools, | | | | on his head and laughs and laughs with the joy of |
| churches and various other organizations. | | | | giving! In one night he went from being a miserable old |
| - Find a battered women's shelter in your area and | | | | man concerned only with getting, to a man now |
| help to create the holiday there - preparing food, | | | | focused only on giving, and he became a joyful person. |
| decorating the tree, and just spending time with them. | | | | While you might not have money to give, we all have |
| Last year a friend of mine organized a number of her | | | | caring to give. You have no idea how much you might |
| local markets to donate food over Christmas to the | | | | enrich your own life as well as another person's life |
| local shelter that housed mothers and their children | | | | just by giving your time, your attention, your interest, |
| who had left abusive husbands. She got to know the | | | | your smile, your understanding. Whatever your life |
| mothers and children and received great fulfillment in | | | | circumstances, you always have the opportunity to |
| providing them with an abundant Christmas. | | | | give your caring. You will discover that giving your |
| - Spend time with old people in nursing homes, | | | | caring to others, especially over the holidays, is a |
| especially those who have no family. Spending time | | | | profound way of caring about yourself. |
| caring about another lonely person will go a long way | | | | |