What is Emotional Dependency?

Are you emotionally dependent? You might want toanxiety, depression, victim hurt, guilt, shame, anger,
go through this checklist.jealousy, and so on. You are emotionally dependent
__I cannot feel lovable and worthy without another'swhen you are not defining your own inner worth,
approval.instead making others' approval and attention
__I need a lot of attention from certain people to feelresponsible for your sense of worth.
that I am okay.When you are not taking responsibility for your own
__I don't trust my own feelings. I need others' tofeelings and for defining your own worth, then you are
validate my feelings.dependent upon others to do this for you. This is being
__I am afraid of rejection. I isolate, or try to be perfect,a victim of others' choices. This is emotional
or agree with others, or give myself up, or shut down,dependency.
and/or do many other things to avoid rejection.The opposite of emotional dependency is emotional
__I am afraid to be alone.freedom. You attain emotional freedom when you
__I often feel empty inside.decide to learn how to take 100% responsibility for all
__I am often anxious around others.your own feelings.
__I am often jealous in my relationships.Taking responsibility for your own feelings means:
__I take others' uncaring behavior toward me
personally.1. You compassionately embrace all painful life feelings
__I get angry when others do what they want to do- loneliness, helplessness over others, heartache,
instead of what I want them to do.heartbreak, sorrow and grief - and learn how to
__People have told me that I am too needy.manage these difficult feelings so that you don't have
__I don't know what to do with myself when I'm notto avoid them with your various addictions. As long as
around others.you use addictions to avoid these feelings instead of
__I'm fine when I'm alone, but I get tense and anxiouslearning to compassionately manage them, you will
around others.continue to be emotionally dependent. These feelings
__I often find myself blaming others for my feelings -are being cause by others and circumstances, but it is
my anger, emptiness, insecurity, anxiety, and so on.up to you to learn to lovingly manage them without
__I believe that my good feelings should come fromclosing down and turning to addictions.
someone else loving me.2. You learn to explore the feelings that you create
__I believe that my safety and security should comewith your own thoughts and actions - your anxiety,
from someone else.depression, victim hurt, guilt, shame, anger, jealousy,
__I can't have fun unless I'm with someone else whorage, envy, and so on. As long as you believe it is
knows how to have fun.others' choices rather than what you are telling
__I am often anxious or depressed, guilty or shamed,yourself and how you are treating yourself that is
hurt or angry.causing these feelings, you will be emotionally
This is certainly not an inclusive list, but you get thedependent. You will see yourself as a victim until you
idea. You are emotionally dependent when you are nottake full responsibility for how you are creating these
taking full, 100% responsibility for your own feelings -painful feelings with your own self-abandonment.
for compassionately nurturing your life feelings ofBeing emotionally dependent is a hard way to live.
loneliness, helplessness over others, heartache,Discover your personal power by learning how to take
heartbreak, sorrow and grief, and for not learningresponsibility for your own feelings and becoming
about how you are treating yourself and what you areemotionally free.
telling yourself that is causing your wounded feelings of