| It is time for less talk and more action - loving action. | | | | listening to and taking action based on the |
| Loving actions are those actions that support our | | | | programmed lies of our mind - lies such as: |
| highest good and the highest good of others. Loving | | | | * I'm not good enough. |
| actions are those actions that are motivated by love | | | | * I will always end up alone. |
| rather than by fear. | | | | * There is something essentially wrong with me. |
| Many people who have been on a path of personal | | | | * When others are angry or withdrawn, it is my fault. |
| and spiritual growth have spent a lot of time talking. | | | | * I am responsible for others' feelings. |
| Talking with friends about what is wrong and what | | | | * Others are responsible for my feelings. |
| they want. Talking with therapists about their past and | | | | These are just a few of the hundreds of lies that we |
| their beliefs. Talking with a mate about what needs | | | | absorbed as we were growing up. When we listen to |
| changing. They have explored and explored and talked | | | | and take action based these false beliefs, our actions |
| and talked - and not much has changed. | | | | are controlling rather than loving. Controlling actions lead |
| Exploring our limiting beliefs and where we got them is | | | | to anxiety, depression, stress, anger, and many other |
| essential for opening the door to loving action, but | | | | painful feelings. We get caught in a vicious circle of |
| taking loving action is the secret to joy. We can talk | | | | creating our pain with our unloving, controlling actions, |
| and talk and learn and learn, but until we are willing to | | | | then choosing more controlling actions in our attempt to |
| take loving action, nothing will change. It is not that it is | | | | stop the pain that we have created with our controlling |
| time to stop learning about our fears and beliefs, but it | | | | actions. Whew! |
| is time for all this learning to result in loving action. | | | | For example, if you lash out at someone with blaming |
| WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THE ACTIONS YOU | | | | anger in an attempt to control him or her, you may end |
| TAKE? | | | | up feeling anxious and lonely. You may then try to |
| We are always taking action, yet much of the time the | | | | control your feelings of anxiety and loneliness by |
| actions we take are not loving, in that they do not | | | | overeating or eating junk. This may result in feeling |
| support our own and others' highest good. | | | | physically bad as well as in weight gain. Then you may |
| All of our actions are being motivated by one of two | | | | feel anxious and depressed over the weight gain, |
| intentions: | | | | which may generate fears of rejection. You may then |
| The intention to have control over getting love and | | | | attempt to cover over your fears of rejection by being |
| avoiding pain. The intention to control is motivated by | | | | overly nice in your attempt to control how someone |
| fear and the desire to protect against that which we | | | | feels about you. When that person does not respond |
| fear. | | | | in a loving way to you, you may then feel hurt and lash |
| The intention to learn about what is most loving to | | | | out in anger and blame in your attempt to have control |
| ourselves and others. This intention is motivated by | | | | over the other person as well as over your own hurt. |
| love and the desire to become the most loving person | | | | Now you are right back where you started - a vicious |
| we can be. | | | | circle of pain and controlling behavior. |
| When our actions are being motivated by fear and our | | | | THE LOVING ADULT |
| intent is to control, our wounded self is in charge. | | | | In order to take loving action, your loving Adult needs |
| When our actions are being motivated by love - both | | | | to be in charge of your choices. Your loving Adult is |
| for ourselves and others - our loving Adult is in charge. | | | | who you are when you are coming from a deep |
| THE WOUNDED SELF | | | | desire to be a loving person and you are open to |
| The wounded self is who we are when our primary | | | | learning about what is most loving to yourself and |
| intention is to have control over getting love and | | | | others. When you are truly open to learning, you will |
| avoiding pain. Other common terms for the wounded | | | | naturally be connected with a higher source of |
| self are the false self and the ego. | | | | guidance - i.e. when you ask "What is the most loving |
| Our wounded self, coming from old fears and limiting | | | | action in this moment?" helpful answers will pop into |
| beliefs, tries to feel safe through attempting to control | | | | your mind. Once you receive the answer in a particular |
| our own painful feelings, as well as control others' | | | | situation, the loving Adult then takes the loving action. |
| feelings and behavior and the outcome of things. | | | | It is time to open to learning about loving action and |
| We are operating as our wounded self when we are | | | | then take the loving action. Less talk, more action! |