| one has betrayed or hurt you then forgiving is going to | | | | long after the original event. They can hold you back |
| be one of the hardest things to do. However, doing so | | | | from moving on and ultimately will just leave you |
| will allow you to get over it and the benfits of this are | | | | feeling miserable day in day out. |
| outlined below. | | | | A True Story. |
| At some point in our lives most of us have been | | | | A very kind-hearted client of mine told me how she |
| wronged, betrayed, lied to or hurt by another. It is very | | | | dealt with her husband of 30 years leaving her for a |
| difficult in this imperfect word full of imperfect people | | | | younger woman. She didn't try to punish him or make |
| not to be on the receiving end of some injustice. | | | | his life misery but instead whole heartedly and |
| Obviously there are degrees of hurt depending on the | | | | genuinely tol him that she wished him happiness. Now |
| circumstances, from someone not inviting you to a | | | | this was not done for his sake but for her own self |
| party, to the betrayal and deep hurt that comes from | | | | preservation. She was so emotionally intelligent that |
| someone you have loved for years cheating on you | | | | she knew that is she held on to feelings of anger and |
| or leaving you. | | | | resentment then she would have a life of misery and |
| Dealing with hurt | | | | a bitter heart. So by forgiving, she was able to avoid |
| Whether it's the first time or just another part of a long | | | | years of unhappiness and start on the road to a new |
| list of hurt, the same questions are always asked. | | | | happier life. |
| What will this mean for my future? and how do I get | | | | Understanding our affects on others. |
| over this? Forgiving is a very powerful and important | | | | Being forgiving is also about us realising the fact that |
| step and perhaps to understand this we must imagine | | | | we too have hurt people. It may be you that is hurt |
| what it is not to forgive. | | | | right now but looking back to the past you will discover |
| What its like not to forgive | | | | that you may have disappointed or let someone down |
| The main reason we choose not to forgive somone is | | | | too. In forgiving other people you are allowing yourself |
| that it is somehow construed as a let off. There are | | | | to forgive yourself! This can be said as more often |
| many hideous crimes going on in the world and how | | | | than not you will judge others as you will judge |
| could we possibly forgive them? However we do not | | | | yourself. |
| really understand what we are doing when we forgive. | | | | The power of an open heart |
| Thoughts and feelings are left behind and the choices | | | | Although being forgiving may seem hard, you can be |
| we make can directly affect which of these feelings | | | | assured being unforgiving takes a lot more time, effort, |
| we keep in our minds. | | | | energy and inevitably leaves us with nothing. So when |
| The dangers of not letting go of the past. | | | | you are faced with deep and painful hurt, look deep in |
| If you cannot forgive then you will only hold on to | | | | your heart and make a choice to forgive, to let go, to |
| those self-harming feelings of bitterness, anger and | | | | embrace and welcome the liberating power of |
| betrayal. I say self-harming because that is exactly | | | | forgiveness in your heart, mind and soul. |
| what these feelings can be when you hold on to them | | | | |