| Are you constantly reading self-help and motivational | | | | the streets. It has always been this way for me and |
| books yet nothing changes? Have you tried many | | | | always will be. Other people are lucky but I am not." |
| different forms of therapy yet still feel unhappy, | | | | On and on he went. No wonder he was so anxious |
| anxious, depressed and alone? Do you often have the | | | | and depressed! |
| answers for others but not for yourself? | | | | I asked him to imagine that he was saying these |
| The problem may be that you are intent on "fixing" | | | | negative things to his actual child. |
| problems rather than learning about what is in your | | | | "I would never say things like that to him - it would |
| highest good and taking the loving action. You will stay | | | | scare him." |
| stuck when fixing is more important than learning and | | | | "Yet this is what you are constantly saying to your |
| taking action. | | | | own inner child. You are constantly scaring yourself |
| Many people are information addicts - reading | | | | with your negative self-talk." |
| everything they can in the hopes of finding the right | | | | "I know. I treat myself really badly. But I can't seem to |
| answer to their problems. Yet even when they do | | | | stop. I've read your books and I understand the Inner |
| come across something they can do to make things | | | | Bonding process, but I don't think it can help me." |
| better, they don't do it. They stay in their head trying to | | | | "Have you tried it?" |
| figure it out rather than take the actions they need to | | | | "No." |
| take. This would be like reading everything you can | | | | "Why not?" |
| about exercise and thinking about exercising, yet not | | | | "I don't think it will help me. I don't think it will work." |
| taking the action of actually exercising. | | | | Jonathan wants a magic pill to fix him. He doesn't want |
| I run into this issue all the time with my clients. The Six | | | | to have to take the action that will help him. His |
| Step Inner Bonding process that we teach is a | | | | negative self-talk is a form of control. He believes that |
| powerful process for getting unstuck, as well as for | | | | if he beats himself up enough, he will somehow get |
| healing the underlying issues that keep people stuck. | | | | himself to change. He believes that beating himself up |
| Many people will read my books and even have | | | | will fix things. He is as addicted to negativity as |
| sessions with me, yet are completely resistant to | | | | someone else might be addicted to alcohol, and it |
| actually practicing the process. They can spout the | | | | won't solve his problems any more than alcohol will. |
| theory and even teach it to others, but because they | | | | Jonathan doesn't want to know that his negative |
| are not practicing it, nothing changes for them. | | | | self-talk is what is causing his problems. He doesn't |
| For example, Jonathon sought my help because of his | | | | want to know that he is actually the creator of his |
| depression over money. Jonathon is a person who | | | | own life and that he is creating what he doesn't want |
| reads everything, yet nothing works for him. His | | | | instead of what he does want. He doesn't want to |
| business is falling apart and so is his marriage. | | | | know that his anxiety and other painful feelings are his |
| In my first session with Jonathon, I heard his endless | | | | natural inner guidance system letting him know that he |
| negative self-talk. "Nothing will ever change for me. I will | | | | is off course in this thinking. He doesn't want to take |
| always be a loser. The things that work for other | | | | responsibility for his own thoughts and feelings and for |
| people will never work for me. I am going to end up on | | | | what he creates in his life. |