| Barbara sought my help because of her chronic | | | | the outcome of things. |
| fatigue. She had beengoing to different kinds of | | | | Finally, Barbara also believed that she could control |
| doctors and trying different nutrition plans for years | | | | how people feltabout her by acting right and saying the |
| and nothing was helping her. One of the doctors | | | | right thing. She was constantlyvigilant about her |
| suggested thatshe try psychotherapy. | | | | behavior with others in her attempts to control |
| In became evident early in our work together than | | | | howthey felt about her and treated her. |
| Barbara was deeplyaddicted to thinking the worst. | | | | However, in trying to control her feelings, others' |
| Constant negativity went through hermind about every | | | | feelings and theoutcome of things, Barbara may have |
| aspect of her life. She would get out of her car | | | | been causing her illness. Theunderlying cause of her |
| andworry about getting robbed. In social situations, she | | | | negative thinking was her devotion to thiscontrol. |
| would tell herselfthat people didn't like her. She was | | | | The problem with all of this is that it is based on an |
| always worried about money, eventhough she was a | | | | illusion - the illusionof control. The fact is that Barbara |
| successful graphic designer. Her husband couldnever | | | | could not foresee every event thatcould cause her |
| do anything right. There was something wrong with | | | | some pain. She was devastated every time |
| every doctorshe saw. | | | | somethinghappened that she had not thought of |
| Negative thinking causes much stress in the body. I told | | | | beforehand. How couldsomething painful come out of |
| Barbara toimagine that she was telling these negative | | | | the blue like that? How could she havenot foreseen it? |
| thoughts to a child. Howwould the child feel most of | | | | The paradox of all of this is that, in trying to foresee |
| the time? Barbara could see that this childwould, of | | | | future catastrophes, |
| course, feel anxious and stressed much of the time | | | | Barbara was not present in the moment. Real safety |
| inresponse to all the negativity and catastrophic | | | | is in being presentin the moment so we can respond |
| thinking. | | | | appropriately to whatever ishappening in the moment. |
| The medical profession has long told us that stress is | | | | When we are fully present in the moment, weare |
| one of the leadingcauses of illness. Stress sets into | | | | available to receiving information from our inner |
| motion the body's fight or flightresponse, pouring | | | | Guidance. All of ushave a Source of Guidance that is |
| cortisol into the body and eventually exhausting | | | | always available to us, and that ishere to help us and |
| theadrenal glands. Adrenal exhaustion can be one of | | | | protect us. But we can access our Guidance |
| the results of somuch negative thinking. | | | | onlywhen we are fully present in the moment, not |
| While Barbara could understand the possible effect | | | | when we are trying tocontrol the future. |
| her negativethinking was having on her health, it was | | | | Barbara is in the process of becoming more aware of |
| extremely challenging for herto give up her negative | | | | her negativethinking. She is not yet healthy, but she has |
| thinking. Barbara deeply believed that hernegative | | | | some better days now, daysthat are lighter and more |
| thinking kept her safe from disappointment. She | | | | fun. |
| believed thatthinking the negative thought before the | | | | Moving out of negative thinking is a process that takes |
| bad thing would happenprepared her to deal with it. | | | | time. If you are anegative thinker, you have been |
| She didn't want to be caught off guard. Shebelieved | | | | practicing this form of thinking yourwhole life. It is not |
| that she could not handle the pain of disappointment, | | | | going to stop in a day. But if you tune into the |
| so that ifshe knew about it ahead of time and actually | | | | stressyou feel and learn to connect your stress with |
| expected it, she wouldn'tfeel disappointed. | | | | your negative thinking,you can slowly change this |
| In addition, Barbara believed that if she was vigilant | | | | pattern. |
| enough andthought through all the bad things that could | | | | Vitality and joy can be the result of letting go of your |
| happen, she could preventthem. She believed that by | | | | negative thinkingand learning to be present in the |
| thinking ahead, she could somehow havecontrol over | | | | moment. |